Emotional Abuse

Emotional abuse is when one person in a relationship tries to control the other person's feelings or thoughts in order to gain power over them.  

Emotional abuse is also called emotional violence or mental, verbal or psychological abuse.

When emotional abuse occurs the feelings, interests, talents, desires, and thoughts of the woman are completely disregarded by the abuser because their goal is to gain control and power.

Emotional abuse happens in many different ways. Some examples of emotional abuse are:

• Put downs: calling names; telling a partner that they are stupid or ugly, not good enough, or no one could ever love them

• Frequently cursing or yelling at a partner

• Threatening or intimidating: making a partner feel nervous or scared for themselves or someone they care about

• Frequently criticizing or correcting the other person: talk, walk, dress

• Lying or cheating

• Playing mind games

• Putting responsibility for ones own behavior on the partner

• Making fun of/putting down the other person's family, culture, religion, race or heritage

• Embarrassing or humiliating the other person, especially in front of other people

• Withholding affection as punishment: not giving love if one partner doesn't do what the other one wants

• Isolation from family, friends, work, and any other activity that the partner considers important

• Telling a partner what they feel and what they think

• Making all the decisions in a relationship and ignoring how the other partners feelings

• Guilt Trips

• Using the children to get ones own way

• Being extremely jealous and using that jealousy to justify controlling behavior

• Unfair accusations

• Accusing the other partner of cheating as a way of manipulating her to do what the abuser wants

• Demanding to know the partners every move

• Using information the partner has revealed against them 

• Irrational questioning to confuse the partner

• Brainwashing

• Constant sarcasm

• Twisting of words

• Double standards

If one, some or all of these examples are occurring in your relationship, it is abuse. You do not deserve to be treated this way.  Nothing you have ever done justifies the behaviour of your partner. Your thoughts, feelings, ideas, and interests are valuable and important. You are valuable and important. Choose to Live Life Empowered and Move In.

Occurrence with Physical and Sexual Abuse

Emotional abuse does occur on its own, but it cannot be separated from physical abuse and sexual abuse. When a women is physically or sexually abused her emotions are dually effected. When a man hits his partner he not only injures her physically, he also injures her emotionally. He sends many messages with his hit, one of which says that her safety is not important to him.  These messages create emotions of fear and degradation. No abuse can occur without psychological consequences!

Severity of Emotional Abuse  

Emotional abuse is known as the most painful and most detrimental to self esteem. It robs a woman of her values, dreams, personality, and accomplishments. When a woman has experienced the pain and confusion of emotional abuse nothing has been left untorn.

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